Those who’ve read Rule 7 of You Cannot Be Serious won’t be surprised by the story I’m about to tell.
It’s been, like, 9 months since I last got my haircut, and it’s time. It’s past time, in fact.
Unfortunately, The Guru had nothing available but a noon slot today which, as all mothers know, is the most inopportune hour during which to be forced to take 5 children anywhere, let alone somewhere they are expected to sit patiently (and quietly) for more than 2.4 minutes.
Grace and Jack opted to stay with my friend Erin, but when George and Henry learned that such an opportunity did not come with a bounce house in the backyard or hot fudge sundaes the size of Alaska, they declined.
Intent on being entertained, George had the bright idea to take Battleship with us. I didn’t that was the best choice, which was confirmed when the game dropped, scattering 220 kadrillion (yes, that’s a number) pieces across the sidewalk before we even managed to make it inside. Neither Henry nor George appreciated my “told you so” eye roll.
Having barely checked in, Nina sat on my lap like the angel that she is, while Henry took the immediate opportunity to loudly inquire, whilst pointing, “MOM! DO YOU SEE THAT WOMAN OVER THERE WITH THE WHITE HAIR?”
“Henry, can we not shout? Or point?”
“Well, she was our librarian!”
Super.
“I wonder if she got fired or something,” he wondered aloud.
A few minutes later, I enthusiastically approached the shampoo bowl, an experience I usually enjoy because, while those in the hair salon industry have somehow still not invented a comfortable shampoo bowl, the fact of the matter is that you can’t really hear anything while your head’s in it. It’s as close as I’m getting to a vacation, and I take advantage of every second.
Apparently, a vacation compliments of the shampoo bowl is not to be when Henry’s along for the ride. I tried to pretend I didn’t recognize the voice bellowing from the other side of the shop.
“George, THAT is I-10,” Henry screamed in frustration. “And THIS is C-4. It’s a LITTLE bit different!”
Lesson Learned: Next time, Battleship may not go along for the ride.
